A Playbook for Building A Village

Your talent can open doors, but your village decides what happens next. We’re talking about the real support system behind sustainable success and how to build one that actually fits your life instead of distracting you from it. From the meaning of “it takes a village” to the hard truth of outgrowing certain relationships, we get honest about why trimming your circle can be an act of self-respect and growth. 

We also dig into the idea of having multiple villages at once and why different groups can serve different parts of your identity, as long as you’re intentional about what you give and what you get. Then we shift into what it looks like when a village becomes magnetic, when you pour into a program or community and suddenly others want in. That attention can be exciting, but it also raises the stakes: not every person or influence belongs in your ecosystem. 

For athletes and high performers, we lay out a clear playbook: find people who speak your language, keep different perspectives around you so you don’t get trapped by yes-people, and build chemistry through mutual motivation and accountability. We also talk about balance, making sure your village fills your cup as much as it empties it, and protecting the culture so nobody poisons the water. If you want stronger team chemistry, better decisions, and real support through highs and lows, this one’s for you. Subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review with the one trait you believe every village needs.

Transcript

What A Village Really Means

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome back to Project 3P. I'm your host, Sharon Ints, and today's episode is called A Playbook for Building a Village. In order for anybody to be successful, it's important that they have a village. What does that mean, having a village? Having a village looks like a lot of different things. Some villages are very crowded, some villages are very small. It really just speaks on what helps you develop as a person. There's a famous saying that we all know or may not know. It takes a village to raise a child. It's the same thing, you know, just making sure that everybody's chipping in to contribute to the betterment of that individual or to that village, you know, raising your community and making sure that, you know, you're not leaving anybody behind and making sure that you are doing what you can to help improve that village or that individual. My village looks very different than what it used to look like. I still have a big network of people, but I kind of trimmed some of the fat in my village because I felt like uh it was more distracting than it was, you know, helpful. Um, you know, and that happens over time. Sometimes you grow, you know, out of friendships or you grow professionally or personally. Growth happens, you know. Um, so it's not wrong for you to grow and it's not wrong for you to, you know, outgrow your village. Um, you know, what really matters is that you are doing what you need to do to grow. And that's the most important thing. Um, growing and then, you know, making sure that your village is doing everything that it needs to do to help you as an individual so that you can help, you know, the village grow as a community.

Multiple Villages And Outgrowing People

SPEAKER_00 2:01

One of the questions that I ask myself is can you have multiple villages at once? Um I like to think you can. Uh, it's like having different groups of friends. Um, you know, sometimes if you bring those villages together or bring those groups of friends together, um, it's not a really good mix because it's like different, you know, portions of your life. Um, so for each of your villages, just make sure that you are giving each village what it needs so that you're able to, you know, be a person who can fulfill what needs to be fulfilled. One of the most exciting things that I've got to experience uh was to see people want to join a village that I was a part of. Um, you know, just seeing a program grow from the ground up and, you know, seeing people compete against, you know, our girls' program at Asphalt Green, uh and, you know, continuously giving compliments, you know, through competition, uh, you know, wanting to be a part of that village. And our girls' program has blossomed because of it. Um, we have a lot of good coaches, uh, we have a lot of great players. Um, you know, but just to see everybody want to be a part of that village, you know, really showed me what it looks like when you pour into a village and, you know, what it looks like when people want to be a part of that village. They get attracted to that village. Um, sometimes that can be good, sometimes that can be bad. But um, you know, just knowing that you're doing the right thing and that different people want to be a part of what you have going on is something that's very exciting.

When A Village Attracts Others

SPEAKER_00 3:46

Let's talk about how athletes can build their village. One of the most famous examples of a successful village right now is the New York Knicks. Um, I planned to put this episode out long before they won the championship. And, you know, there's a joke that they won the championship off friendship and vibes, and that's chemistry. Like you can't, you can't, nothing outshines chemistry. Like uh when you're clicking and your village is doing everything it needs to do, uh, you can accomplish anything. So um let's talk about how athletes build their village. The first thing you want to do as an athlete to build your village is to find people who speak the same language as you. What does that mean? Finding people who speak the same language as you is very important. Uh, it just means to find someone or some people who understand you and understand how you operate and understand why you do what you do, your purpose, um, they understand your passion,

How Athletes Build Chemistry

SPEAKER_00 4:47

um, and they understand like, you know, who you are. So that's very important in building a village, finding people who speak the same language as you. It's also very important for you to have different perspectives in your village. Um, if you have a village of yes people or people who see things the same way, you're not seeing the world in its totality. Uh, you really want to make sure that you have different people in your village who have different perspectives so that you can see everything and, you know, really start to grow as a village and as a person, you know, you get different perspectives, uh, you get to hear different opinions. You may not agree with all the opinions, but it's important for your growth as an individual and as an athlete for you to have different people in your village who see things differently. It's also important for you to have people in your village who motivate you, but also you all can help one another, um, you know, and motivate each other when you need to be motivated and hold each other accountable when you need to be held accountable. That brings me back to chemistry and why chemistry is so important in, you know, a village and in that village's ecosystem. Um, it's very important to have a village that, you know, can fill your cup as much as it, you know, empties your cup. Um, that is important in your village's ecosystem. If you are in a village that just, you know, is constantly pouring into your cup, uh, you get overflowed and overwhelmed. And if you are in a village where you're the person who's pouring into someone else's cup, it leaves your cup empty. So it's important that you're in an ecosystem and in a village that, you know, helps you feel um fulfilled and helps you fulfill others as well.

Protect The Ecosystem

SPEAKER_00 6:32

Another important thing when it comes to your village is to protect your village. Uh, what I mean by protecting your village is not letting in people who don't need to be let into your village. Um, you know, one of the most dangerous things can be to let someone in or let their influence in or, you know, just let them into your ecosystem and it derails everything. It, it, you know, puts everyone at risk. Um, you know, speaking literally and metaphorically, um, very dangerous to allow someone into your ecosystem that doesn't belong in your ecosystem. One way that you can protect your village is to, like I said before, hold each other accountable when you need to be held accountable. Um, another way is to be honest with each other and, you know, to be trustworthy. Um, if you're any of those three things and all of those three things, your village is in a very good place. Super important and detrimental that you don't let others poison the water in your village. That comes back to, like I said, everybody doesn't belong in your village. And, you know, in time you kind of figure out who's who, like who's here to help, who's here to kind of, you know, take away from what you're building in your village. Um, just look out for those who, you know, want to poison the water in your village. So be very careful and mindful of who you allow in your village.

Accountability Support And Showing Up

SPEAKER_00 7:57

A healthy village to me looks like a few different things. Um, and these things are pretty important to me. Um, the first thing is accountability, and I know that's a recurring thing in this episode. Uh, another thing is to give constructive criticism and allow yourself to receive constructive criticism and then support. Support is like one of the biggest things. Like, um, if you can support anyone in your village and you can give them constructive criticism, I feel like that helps anyone grow and it helps your village thrive. I can't talk enough about what it feels like when my village shows up for me. Um, you know, when you see people in your corner who support you or, you know, they're rooting for you to be successful or they help you or, you know, hold you accountable or give you criticism and you accomplish the things that you want to accomplish. There's nothing more um fulfilling than seeing that come to light and seeing those people show up for you when you need them to show up for you. So shout out to my

Why Athletes Need A Village

SPEAKER_00 9:04

village. Let's talk about why it's important for athletes to have a village. It's important for athletes to have a village because they need support during the highs and the lows. It's also important for athletes to have a village because they need to hear someone else's voice. They need a sounding board or a second opinion uh just so that they're not making decisions and making those decisions alone, uh, or having people around who, you know, may not want the best for them or, you know, or telling them yes, yes, yes. Um, you know, it's important for them to kind of reflect and get feedback from other people in their village. It's also important for athletes to have someone in their village who protects them at all costs and always has their best interests at heart. Um, can't stress that enough. That concludes today's episode of Project 3P. I'm your host, Sherad Inst. And if you like today's episode, like, comment, or subscribe, as well as share with a friend. Thank you, and I'll see you next time.